prepare yourself. it's coming!

just when i thought my popularity was about to soar through the roof, my hopes and dreams came crashing to the floor.

i have always enjoyed being creative.  i often express myself in art or music.  nearly three years ago, i began delving into the wonderful world of video editing.  from movie clips to youth group footage, i would often assign myself little projects to work on in my spare time.  only those closest to me ever got an opportunity to have private viewings of these secret masterpieces.  it was a great hobby, and movie editing and i were very happy together.

then it happened!

you might be aware of a little thing called youtube.  the chances of someone being a blog reader and not knowing about youtube are really low, but just in case you fit into that category, then you should click here and catch up with the modern world.  anyways, i began to think about how cool it would be if i could upload some videos to the internet so that others could enjoy them.  the question remained: which video should it be?  i had been working on a new video project that featured a compilation of scenes from the season one finale of heroes.  as the editing of my video progressed i started to think: "this might be the one."  finally on august 31, 2007 i actually uploaded my video (click here to view the heroes video) and left it at the mercy of the rest of the world.  the result was surprising.

the video was a huge success!  it got over 22,000 views and had quite a few comments from a variety of different individuals.  some people even decided to subscribe to my work.  i was so excited, and quite proud of what i had accomplished.  my confidence received a giant boost, and i was ready to take on the world.  then it hit me.  "what if my next one is not as good?"  the horror of that possibility is what kept me in the midst of a youtube movie producing "dry-spell" for quite some time.  i was too scared of failure.  people were just so stinkin' pleased with that first one.  i did not want to let them down.  have you ever heard of the term self-fulfilling prophesy?  well, basically when someone believes very strongly that something will happen, he or she can often bring about events that lead the belief to come true.  in my case, that is exactly what happened.  i dug my own youtube grave.

early in 2008 i created a video for lent.  it was basically a mixture of religious pictures coupled with a song by the almost.  not that it was a bad video, but it was not quite the caliber of video number one.  though hesitantly, i decided to upload it as my second installment.  apparently, i was not the only one who noticed the flare that my video was lacking.  with a measly 200 views (50 of which were probably mine from checking to see if anyone had looked at it) and no comments, i realized that my popularity had taken a big hit.  i felt like all those disney movies that made sequels that never should have been made.  i mean, how do you continue the story of cinderella?  ridiculous.  however, for once, i felt like i was on the same playing field as simba's pride and the land before time XXVI.  i had become a loser.  after that i could not even bring myself to create another public video.  i only managed to upload a home video of our puppy chloe on her first night in our apartment (it, by the way, has only received 86 hits).  my self-esteem was really low, and i had almost given up...

then...i woke up on september 7, 2008 with a new fire inside me!  i am not going to be taken down by my past video editing failures.  i will regain my popularity.  youtube has not seen the end of chartzog47 (my username).  i have some fight left in me.  prepare yourself.  it's coming!