a concerned fellow citizen

i have not written on this blog in a while. i guess i have just gotten busy and forgotten about it. anyways, as a welcome back post i will be writing letters to various people to whom i have been wanting to ask questions:

dear homeowners on sheffield,

why is your grass brown? all summer as i drove by your house i noticed that you and your neighbor's yards were both completely brown. not brown spots. not ugly patches. completely brown. how does that happen? is it some kind foreign grass that thrives in the winter and is dormant in the summer? don't worry. i am not judging you. who am i to talk? my yard is far from perfect. no. i simply want to know why. i literally lay awake at night occasionally and think, "hmmm. the brown yards." if you have an answer for me that would be great!

sincerely,

a fellow knoxville resident named clay

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dear rain,

why are you so obsessed with tennessee? don't get me wrong. the earth needs to be watered and all, but i am so tired of you that i could scream. enough already! are you trying to make a point or something? i mean, where were you two years ago when we had a drought? looks like someone felt guilty about that and tried to smother us all with precipitation overkill. i guess no one ever told you that a little apology goes a long way. so, take a hint and get lost cause we're all drowning here.

-clay

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dear america,

why do so many people have chips on their shoulders? i understand that times are tough right now, but shouldn't we all work together? the economy stinks. the weather stinks. why should our attitudes stink? do me a favor: go out and spread some love.

sincerely,

a concerned fellow citizen